It seemed like a good idea at the time, honest.

My oldest graduated today from THE Ohio State University with a Bachelor's degree in Agricultural Science.  Earlier this summer, she asked me to arrange a time when all of the family could get together for a meal to celebrate.  Since most folks who were coming from out of town were not going to stay long, brunch prior to the 1pm commencement seemed to be the best idea.

Keeping in mind that I was in Toronto, Ontario and we were to brunch in Columbus, OH, I certainly had my work cut out for me.  It paled in comparison to planning a wedding in Toronto from Ravenswood, WV so I figured I was up to the task.  I wanted somewhere intimate and unusual, with a good reasonably priced breakfast/brunch.  My first choice was quickly voted down by friends and family in Columbus--aparantly it was in a rather uncomfortable part of town, both in location relative to the university and with regard to safety.

Enter The Shrunken Head.  Aparantly under new management, this was a nifty tiki bar that had a reputation for a fab brunch buffet on the weekends and outstanding coffee.  I can tell you that although it was strong, the coffee did indeed taste good.  There were mixed online reviews, but the negative ones seemed to come from staff who had worked there under the previous owner who had a bit of a grudge against the new owners.  In retrospect, I should have given them more credit.

So in July 2010 I emailed The Shrunken Head and inquired about thier hosting a brunch for 14 at 10am prior to the OSU grad on August 29, 2010.  I figured 6 weeks was plenty of time.  I recieved a lovely email in return, welcoming us and assuring me that that would be no problem.  I was happy, and looking forward to good food and a good visit in an interesting setting.  I followed up a week prior, just to make sure there were no issues, and had only a moments consternation when the person on the phone had no idea what I was talking about..".party of 14?  When?  Well that won't be a problem, although I don't know anything about it...I'm only the bartender so I wouldn't really know about those things."  Mind was at ease.

This morning at 10am, which was when they were set to open, 13 people showed up hungry and happy.  Forty five minutes later we had a grad in tears and a grandpa headed toward a diabetic coma.

At 10:05 I pulled on the door and it was unlocked so we went in.  When I saw someone, he asked how we had gotten in.  When I told him the front door was unlocked, he was surprised.  He told us we could "sit anywhere" so we moved 5 small round tables together and got settled in.  There was banter about how we were actually an unlocky 13 rather than 14--laughed off.  There was a punching bag in the ladies room--more giggles--and now we know why it is there.  It's because The Shrunken Head will make you want to punch someone.

Dirty glasses on the stage aside, we still weren't that put off.  No buffet setup was in evidence, but ok, we're flexible, bring it.  The "waiter" --and I use that term very loosely-- finally came over at about 10:25.  He explained that there weren't "enough" menus (we never saw even one) so he ran down a short list of normal breakfast fare for us to remember and think on, took our drink orders, and promptly disappeared.  A few more people wandered in, sat down, ordered and recieved their drinks.  We finally got all of our drinks at about 10:40am.  Remember,  we had reservations, got there promptly, and had a grad who needed to be done by 11:45am at the very latest so she could line up for the 1pm start time.  Grandpa needed to eat something before his insulin issues flared.  Three children under 10 were hot and hungry (if there is air conditioning in this place, it is minimal at best and the day was headed to better than 90F)  Our grad had reached her limit--heaven knows she was stressed out enough beforehand, not to mention tired and a tad hung over from party time the night before--so waiting 40 minutes for a coke, three milks, two coffees, three OJ's and some water with wilted lemon.  We decided to try for the Bob Evans up the street and when the "waiter" came back to take our order we advised him we were leaving.  Our grad offered to pay for the drinks served--I fought her for the priveledge, but she was angry and frustrated and would not hear of me paying for the drinks.

To thier credit, they did not charge us for the drinks.

We left at 1045am, and by 1145 we were not only seated and served at Bob Evans, but we had actually finished our meal and were paying checks.  We surprised them with a large party, so we were not able to be seated together, but they performed magic and satisfied us mightily.  They even apologized for not being able to seat us together.  Our grad made it to the center, Grandpa didn't keel over, and we lasted through the three and a half hour ceremony still fully satisfied from our ample breakfast/brunch.

Lessons learned?  Let someone local find the place to meet and eat, not someone in another country.  Believe negative comments about an eating establishment.  Don't expect a buffet in a bar, even if it is advertised and confirmed by management.  Carry mints for the elderly.  And in the name of all that's holy, stay away from The Shrunken Head.